Sunday, June 13, 2010

Black Metal and fatherhood: A new parenting model.

This video largely speaks for itself. Please note:

The child prodigy playing chess.

The excellent clag skills.

The palm tree in the background as the church burns. Grim as.

The guys sneakers.

Questions:

Will this girl grow up to be twisted?

Does the Dad like Twisted Sister?

Why would you ruin such a sweet church?



Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Suicidal Depressive Black Metal: Time to end it all?

Recently I have been listening to the most recent ridiculous metal sub-genre: sdbm, or suicidal depressive black metal for those who can't handle complicated names. While i must admit i find myself attracted to the 'wall of noise' created, and enjoy the incredibly bleak picture it paints in one's minds eye, there are a few things that bother me about it, and some questions that are raised.

As an example, here is a tune from my favourite band of this genre, the incredibly stupidly named, "Make a Change...Kill yourself."

It's beginning to sound a bit emo here. I must rush to the defence of these one man bands however. While emo is an offshoot of punk and clearly highly commercialised (though some punk and hardcore fans assure me it was good in the 90s...sure guys) black metal subgenres tend to appeal to a grand title of seven people in the world. That's six if we take away the band member himself. Here is MAC...KY.


This is only half the song, but i'm supremely confident it will be enough for you all. Now before
I bring into question some inconsistencies, I will say that this music is quite powerful while listened
to on headphones. To the questions:

1. If this chap is so bent on snuffing himself, why does he have four other bands, and seems to be very
happy to prosper in Norway or Sweden or some other suitably grim European location.

2.Why does he sound like a strangled cat?

3.Does he like Van Halen?

4.Does he feel any responsibility toward potentially insecure and desperate individuals who might
take his advice to 'join us'? Sorry chappy, but if your five fans are dead, then you ain't be getting those
illusive 100 monies of royalties.

5.Is this music the equivalent of a middle class white teenager threatening to kill themselves if their
mum doesn't buy them the latest gizmodo? "I'll totally do it you selfish assholes! My life is over!"

6.Are the posters on youtube for serious? I bandy the word 'masterpiece' around as much as the
next person, but i hardly think it applies here. Just because some northern european got a bit
cross at the lack of pagan roots in contemporary society, got a a bit sad, and picked up a guitar,
that's no reason to hail him as the next Van Halen.

7.Does he like Morbid Angel?

8.What does he think of emo music? It's basically the same minus the scene kids and side fringes.

9. Does he like cycling, or is it too life affirming?

10.Why isn't he dead yet?

These are just some questions that spring to mind. I listen to this stuff quite a lot and I enjoy it.
Don't despair however, if you find yourself projected into a lifeless, joyless abyss as a result of this
music, I can guarantee this will help:


Ps. Can someone tell me why my font fucks up after i embed videos?